A die-hard fan writes:
How the frak do I get chapstick stains out of all of my a-list clothes?
Ah yes, the age-old problem of how to remove pernicious stains from clothing. We’ve all been there, am I right? Fortunately Breaking Bad offers some pretty straightforward solutions.
AVOID WEARING CLOTHING
In my last post, I mentioned Walt’s proclivity to nudity and suggested that it might be related to his unconscious desire for Jesse. It might also be a strategy for keeping his “a-list” (read: Kohl’s) clothes clean. Lot of strong chemicals in the RV and superlab; if they can eat through human bones/porcelain tub/two stories of a house, they can probably eat through a polyester blend wrinklefree button down, or Dockers.
Avoidance, definitely one kind of strategy.
PROTECT YOUR CLOTHING
Gus, being the dashing gay man that he is, is not up for walking around naked with just a lab apron to cover his man parts. When he slashes Victor’s throat with the very same boxcutters that Gale used to set up the superlab in the first place, and drains him like a butchered pig, he does NOT want to get his stylish-yet-restrained clothes all stained. Hence the neon orange jumpsuit.
This is a more direct approach than Walt’s; he tackles the problem head on. “Yeah, there’s going to be blood everywhere. Whatevs.”
DRESS LIKE JESSE
One final option I’d suggest is to just avoid the whole “a-list” clothes problem entirely and dress like Jesse. I think the photo says it all. Chap sticks stains are the least of your problems when you’re walking around in the world like this every day.
These have all been very practical suggestions, to a practical problem. But I think I’m noticing some metaphysical undertones to your question. Lady Macbeth, as a matter of fact, had this very same issue — as I’m sure you know, reader, it’s not always all about the dudes! Sometimes it’s the wife! I’m not sure what’s happening with the chapstick to begin with, but you might want to take a long hard look at your life choices and think about how you got in this situation in the first place, and whether you can live with the consequences.
Lesson from Breaking Bad on avoiding stained clothing: Stay out of the meth lab. Don’t kill people. Don’t smoke while you’re pregnant. And remember to empty your pockets before you put your clothes in the washer.
